Assimilative Synchronous Directus Editoidosis Warning

The CDC  (Centers for Dassault Control and Prevention)  are on high alert the next two weeks for a predicted outbreak  of the  highly contagious disease known as Assimilative Synchronous Directus Editoidosis.

This highly infectious disease has crossed traditional vectors of transmission pathways into new areas of contagious transmissible behaviors and therefore the CDC issues a critical warning for all SolidWorks users.

In addition to contact with prior infected individuals contact with any keyboard or PC or viewing a monitor attached that contains the ASDE (Assimilative Synchronous Directus Editoidosis) virus must also be avoided at all costs to remain disease free. The CDC also recommend that videos in diverse places such as YouTube which may have also been exposed to ASDE should be avoided.  The CDC maintains that YouTube type exposures can lead to lessened awareness on the part of SolidWorks users  increasing the potential for risky behavior resulting in increased rates of contamination from primary computing vectors.

The CDC maintains that this is not treatable at this time. They are working towards a cure in the future with something called CGM (Concentrated Geometric Masochism) but conflicting reports on results are all that is known about this. It’s efficacy has not been proven by the CDC and while they say that they are aware of the need at this time they are experiencing few concrete results to comment on. They are hopeful however for the future and with years of experience behind them they are certain the answers are at hand.

In the mean time the unaffiliated Solid Edge Research Labs in Huntsville, Alabama have produced  a remarkable technological breakthrough outside of the auspices of the CDC.  SERL (Solid Edge Research Labs) has produced a complete cure for this with a 100% success rate of fighting the infection through a revolutionary inoculation they have developed. Proven with years of rigorous field testing their clinics will begin serious distribution of this product next week and the first major treatment center will open its doors next Tuesday, 6-25-13.

It is not to late to get in the initial queue to be inoculated and here is the contact info for the clinic.

http://www.siemens.com/plm/solidedgeu

For those of you interested in the science behind the inoculation procedures I recommend the following two links.

http://www.solidedgeu.com/assets/docs/seu2013agenda_handout.pdf

http://community.plm.automation.siemens.com/t5/Solid-Edge/ct-p/solid-edge

7 responses to “Assimilative Synchronous Directus Editoidosis Warning

  1. R. Paul Waddington

    Goodone Dave 🙂

  2. This whole post should have been written in purple. 🙂

    Synchronous Directus Editoidosis sounds like an awful affliction. So happy I am not suffering from it!!! 🙂

    • Hi 3D,
      I will have to ask the creator of Purple who has been assimilated and innoculated if I can use his creative idea here. 😉
      Now on a serious note Matt was a latent carrier of Synchronous Directus Editoidosis for some time before he developed full blown Assimilative Synchronous Directus Editoidosis. There are numerous carriers out there and all it takes to be pushed into fully developed ASDE is stress which weakens the bodies natural immune system. At least that is what I am hearing from the CDC lab guys.

  3. Funny.

  4. BTW, on this topic I believe Neil is right.

  5. Neil blows hot and cold on any given day with SW. I think it is a love hate relationship and continued stress will in all likely hood result in his health being preserved by the SERL inoculation. He is not happy where he is. He is also not happy about thinking about change either and I understand. Who wants to throw away all the time and money invested in a program for years? Direct editing alone caused me to change from VX though because of what it can do over straight history based modeling. Besides this lack of direct editing capability the SW guys are faced with the CGM kernal swapout and the cloud and you know these are words from fearless leader Ray and Bernard’s own mouths. I am not making this up or causing FUD. I don’t have to because Dassault does it quite well enough on their own.

    Other than not wanting to change or have to deal with all those legacy files to move elsewhere, considering how Dassault management regards you guys, the question in my mind is what compelling reason is there to stay like a deer in the headlights?

    Time will tell how things are going to pan out as neither you or I or Neil have working crystal balls. I however think the handwriting is on the wall for the SW users and Pro E V2 is on the way for them.

  6. Compelling reason? Let’s say you drive an A8 with all the bells and whistles and start seeing and hearing everywhere the ads from the Honda dealers saying that you better switch to a Honda Civic because, in a few years, the Volkswagen Group would dedicate less resources for Audi and more for Lamborghini.

    Don’t get me wrong, Honda Civic is a nice, reliable car, but at this time I am very happy driving my A8. When the Civic would be nicer equipped and better looking than the Audi, I will make the switch. Until then, I’ll stick with what I have.

    Have fun next week, Dave! 🙂

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